July 2, 2010

AAAAaaaahhhhhh....what splendor to relax on a beautiful farm, on a languid summer day, not driving my RV, not driving myself to keep moving, not driving a stake through my heart for my disintegrating marriage...just sitting in quietude and sinking into the moment with all five senses. A couple days ago, I decided that every time I had a non-supportive, non-affirming thought or memory, I would say my affirmations out loud and "love pat" my heart area to really DRIVE the message home.  IT'S WORKING!

I am truly seeing that this journey is about driving deeper to the core of myself as I traverse the landscape of America. I've been on the road for nearly 3 months now. During this time I've lost parts of myself, found them and more, discovered overlooked nuances, met my demons, stared them down, invited them to tea, cringed at myself, cracked up, cracked apart, cried, pouted, spat, felt humbled, expansive, constricted, delighted, dismayed, courageous, forlorn, and free. That was just the first day. No, just kidding. It's been a remarkable 3 months and I'm so very grateful for every day and so not done!

I feel something in me is changing, but I can't name it yet. There's a subtle yet powerful surging I'm feeling  that is in synch with the upcoming Independence Day celebrations. I feel like fireworks are set to go off within me and they are waiting for the queue.

For all of you who regularly read my blogs, and for those of you who drop in from time to time, I thank you earnestly and whole-heartedly. I'm driving into uncharted territory a lot of the time, and you are my link to the known world.